For some reason, this blog has been on my mind a lot lately. I know I haven’t been around for a long time, but for quite some time I have felt that I didn’t have anything new to contribute to you all. This blog started in November 2012 and through the last 6 1/2 years some of you have followed me through the many phases of the massive weight loss process – from the six month pre-op diet, through the surgery, into maintenance, and through the recovery from plastic surgery.
The physical changes pale in comparison to the emotional and mental transformation I have experienced in the same timeframe. When I started this process, I was married and living in a small town in Central PA. I had few friends, wasn’t well-traveled, and felt like a prisoner in my own body – lacking a social outlet because of the physical and emotional pain that came with being almost 450 lbs. I still remember a time when everything I did was physically difficult and required careful planning, but admittedly the memory is vague at this point.
Today, I am divorced and living in Philadelphia – my first time living as a big city gal! About three and a half years ago, I took a job that (at the time) required a lot of travel. I explored many parts of the US I never dreamed I would see and had never left the country until my 31st birthday. Since then, I have traveled to 10 different countries and will add three more this year. I have continued to see a therapist, although there have been periods where I have taken a break for various reasons. Therapy still remains one of the biggest keys to my success.
I have discovered just how discouraging the dating scene can be and it has nothing to do with my weight or history with weight loss. Instead, I have discovered the present day mentality that people are disposable, replaceable, and the hopes that the “next best thing” is around the corner. To say I have been hurt in the last three years by people I trusted is an understatement. But, I continue to dust myself off and try again. I would like to think I didn’t come all this way, becoming a better version of myself throughout the years through tremendous amounts of hard work, to not get what I want out of life.
I would love to blog more again. I guess I’m just not sure what those of you who may still see this post would want to hear from someone like me. What would be helpful? There’s no new exciting news. No big weight losses. No upcoming plastic surgery. No scar healing progress photos.
There’s just me, living a more simple and happy life, trying to figure out where to go from here.