Color Run 5k (pic), NSVs, & Pure Happiness!

I’ve been feeling really good lately. I recently experienced the non-scale victory (NSV) of getting to (and now below) the weight that I was when my husband and I first met 8 1/2 years ago. It’s exciting to think that with each new day, he’s see a whole new me (physically)!!

Another NSV and big deal for me was participating in a Color Run 5K that was happening at my University today. It was a lot of fun! Although I didn’t run, it is exciting to think that I was on my feet and walking for hours and survived! I NEVER would have been able to do this prior to starting the supervised diet in November. I am SO grateful and thankful that I’ve taken control of my health and gotten to this place of indescribable happiness!

Every new day there is something new. I’m either wrapping a bath towel around my whole body, putting on smaller clothes, walking a longer distance, crossing my legs with more ease, and so much more! There are so many NSVs that I can’t even keep track of all of them. All the “sacrifices” that I have been making have been worth it x 1000000!

The next big scale goal is to reach that 200 lbs lost. I’m so close I can taste it…. kind of tastes like cheesecake…. sorry… been thinking about cheesecake a lot lately lol!!

Here is a pic from today! 🙂

Feeling Like a Fraud and I Need to Get Over It!

Ok… so I’ve always been one to feel a lot of “guilt” for everything. Guilty for failure, guilty for success, guilty for anything! Throughout the last 7 or 8 months that I’ve been going to therapy, I’ve gotten a lot better at not letting other people’s problems, feelings, etc. affect me so much that I stress out and feel guilty. BUT, I’ve noticed myself feeling very guilty and like a fraud lately when someone in my real life that doesn’t know I’ve had weight loss surgery tells me that I’ve inspired them to start losing weight – what’s up with that?

How Things are Changing Post Weight Loss

I’ve been noticing some changes happen around me as I’ve lost more and more weight. My husband thinks that I’m crazy when I point out these changes, but I’m guessing that anyone that has experienced a huge life event such as massive weight loss has probably experience the same things. I find them so interesting. Some of the things that I’ve noticed:

4 Months Out: What a Difference 187.6 lbs Make (w/ Pics!)

Tomorrow marks my 4 months out from surgery celebration! Wooohoo! Like I’ve said almost every month, I can’t believe how fast time flies. I’m a week away from marking 10 months since I started this whole journey on November 20th and I’m so, so, so happy that I made the decision to change my life. Since starting the supervised diet, I have lost a total of 187.6 lbs. In the 4 months since surgery, I have lost 81.4 lbs!! I lost more weight in this 4th month than I did in the 2nd and 3rd months…. which I don’t understand, but I’ll TAKE IT!

The Best NSV I’ve Had to Date

Today I experienced the best NSV (non-scale victory) to date. There have been MANY NSVs in my journey so far and hopefully a lot to come. BUT, I will say that nothing beats wearing the nice, new shirt I have on right now with nice dress pants for work… and having my husband walk by the bathroom this morning and mutter “Woah!” when he walked by. He didn’t know that I heard it and he didn’t say anything else when he walked by…. but I heard it!

My husband is a wonderful man, but for some reason feels super uncomfortable and awkward giving me compliments. I don’t know why, but although he thinks in his head on occasion “Wow, she looks nice” or “She looks great today” he can’t ever say that to me unless I drag it out of him. Ladies… I’m sure you know just how unsexy it is when you have to ask for a compliment! His idea of complimenting me this morning after I came out of the bathroom was to say, “What are you trying to do, get everyone to look at those boobies today?” in a “joking but not really” kind of way LOL

It might sound strange, but I felt like I could do anything after hearing that “woah!” this morning. Hopefully the good day continues lol!

Throw Back Thursday!

So… I always see a lot of people on Twitter that post pictures of themselves from AT LEAST a few years back in honor of what is called “Throwback Thursday.” I never participate in this excitement because honestly…. I don’t really have too many pictures of me unless they were from high school. If I post a picture of myself from high school, I guess I’m afraid of the kind of comments that all of the people that have never known me to be a “normal” size would say!

BUT, I figure that this is a good place to do a #tbt so that I can help keep my head in the game (I feel like I’m starting another stall… grrr…) and focus on where I could be if I just keep on my plan. Last night I had a terrible dream that I ate half of a bowl of a brownie sundae… so clearly things are going crazy in my head.

One thing I’m really trying to make sure I don’t do this time around is STILL think that I’m super fat… even when I’m not. My weight varies in the pictures below… but the lowest one is of me in the white sweater. At that time, I was wearing a size 10 and was probably 170 lbs at 5’9 1/2″ I let the boys in high school convince me that I was still fat and never really appreciated the fact that I am NOT ugly OR fat in these pictures!! WTF was wrong with me? (and them for that matter!!!)

A picture of me from 2003, right around high school graduation. I probably weight 170-175 in this picture!

Picture from 2003 at the end of softball season in the spring. I really miss being active!!

Picture from late 2003, during my freshman year at college. I had already started to put weight back on… I probably weigh 200 in this pic? Just a guess! Geez, I still don’t think I look bad?