Ok… so I’ve always been one to feel a lot of “guilt” for everything. Guilty for failure, guilty for success, guilty for anything! Throughout the last 7 or 8 months that I’ve been going to therapy, I’ve gotten a lot better at not letting other people’s problems, feelings, etc. affect me so much that I stress out and feel guilty. BUT, I’ve noticed myself feeling very guilty and like a fraud lately when someone in my real life that doesn’t know I’ve had weight loss surgery tells me that I’ve inspired them to start losing weight – what’s up with that?
There have been people in my real life that know I’ve had surgery and tell me I’m an inspiration for them to start losing weight and I think, “Oh, that’s so nice of them to say!” but I guess I kind of feel like a liar when someone tells me that I’ve inspired them to lose weight and they don’t know that I’ve had surgery.
I’m part of a professional development program at work that meets every two weeks and at the last session, a woman in the class told me she didn’t even recognize me (we had taken a break from sessions in the summer). She congratulated me and told me I looked great. Well, at yesterday’s session she said, “I have to tell you… since seeing you last time, you’ve been an inspiration to me for getting back into Weight Watchers… I’m getting serious about it!”
For some reason it makes me feel guilty. I think it’s because I fear that if all of the people in my life knew I had surgery, they would no longer be proud of my success. I guess I fear they would think that the 193 lbs has just fallen off of me without any effort. I know it’s not true…. you know it’s not true… but I still have a hang up about it and it’s something I really need to work through in the coming months!