Feeling Like a Fraud and I Need to Get Over It!

Ok… so I’ve always been one to feel a lot of “guilt” for everything. Guilty for failure, guilty for success, guilty for anything! Throughout the last 7 or 8 months that I’ve been going to therapy, I’ve gotten a lot better at not letting other people’s problems, feelings, etc. affect me so much that I stress out and feel guilty. BUT, I’ve noticed myself feeling very guilty and like a fraud lately when someone in my real life that doesn’t know I’ve had weight loss surgery tells me that I’ve inspired them to start losing weight – what’s up with that?

There have been people in my real life that know I’ve had surgery and tell me I’m an inspiration for them to start losing weight and I think, “Oh, that’s so nice of them to say!” but I guess I kind of feel like a liar when someone tells me that I’ve inspired them to lose weight and they don’t know that I’ve had surgery.

I’m part of a professional development program at work that meets every two weeks and at the last session, a woman in the class told me she didn’t even recognize me (we had taken a break from sessions in the summer). She congratulated me and told me I looked great. Well, at yesterday’s session she said, “I have to tell you… since seeing you last time, you’ve been an inspiration to me for getting back into Weight Watchers… I’m getting serious about it!”

For some reason it makes me feel guilty. I think it’s because I fear that if all of the people in my life knew I had surgery, they would no longer be proud of my success. I guess I fear they would think that the 193 lbs has just fallen off of me without any effort. I know it’s not true…. you know it’s not true… but I still have a hang up about it and it’s something I really need to work through in the coming months!

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5 thoughts on “Feeling Like a Fraud and I Need to Get Over It!

  1. Think about the big deal people make about being inspired by people who lose so much on the Biggest Loser. But expecting anyone to be able to work out 12 hours a day in a very controlled environment, that’s not realistic at all. But people see the transformation still makes people think, I can do this. And that’s what you are doing. And like you said, you know it – that you worked your ass off to get here. Literally! No one waved a magic wand. And there are a lot of people that do surgery and find ways to get around the surgery and don’t lose the weight or gain it back. That’s not you. You have done something completely amazing, and it only happens through total commitment and hard work and dedication, surgery or not. And people see you and start to think, I want that for myself. That’s something to be proud of.

  2. I have the same feeling! I have to remind myself that weight loss surgery wasn’t easy though! I am still tempted and could easily go off the rails and return to my old habits. So while we did have surgery, it is only a tool. You are still in control of what u eat and how much you workout. You are doing this!

  3. I feel the same way and I didn’t have the surgery, so I don’t think it’s something anyone should feel guilty about or like they are a fraud because you’re the one who stayed on diet and exercised and learned to cope with issues besides using food. I need to take my own advice, but I thought it might make you feel better to know that people that lose weight non-surgerically can feel like a fraud to 🙂

    • Thanks for the input! Why do we have to be so darn hard on ourselves? I really feel like I need to learn the skill of just accepting a compliment and letting the guilt go, but it’s super tough!!!

      • I think it’s our hormones to. I just read something that said when you lose weight, especially fat it can release hormones into your system and make you extra crazy lol, isn’t it punishment enough that we’re women and were already hormonal lol

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