Paranoia or Friend Distancing Herself?

I have a friend that I work with that I’ve known for a little over four years. This friend has always come back to my office and chatted about lots of different things MULTIPLE times per day. She used to text me at times and we would walk through the building to get a drink from the vending machine at times for a little mid-day break.

In the past two months, I’ve noticed that she has been distant. She doesn’t appear to have any issues with me, we still talk when I initiate conversation, but she NEVER comes back to my office, never really talks when I’m in the reception area at her desk, and we never go to get a drink anymore (she declines when I ask).

This friend has always been a normal weight, but has put some on in the past 3-4 months and has been really upset about it. So… I’m wondering now if this distance she has put beetween us is due to that or if I’m just being paranoid? I’m wondering if seeing me losing lots of weight while she’s sensitive about gaining it has caused her to pull back?

At first, I enjoyed the distance because sometimes it was hard to get work done with the amount of times that she popped back in my office, but I’m hoping that my success isn’t the cause of the distance. I realize there really isn’t anything I can do, but I guess I just wonder now if I’m just being silly for thinking that it has anything to do with me and my weight loss, or maybe I’m on to something?

I guess I will never know unless I ask, but that’s definitely not a conversation I plan to have lol


Stall is Broken – But for How Long?

I’m really happy to report that the latest stall I was experiencing has been broken! On Friday, I finally experienced a loss from the 240.6 I was weighing in at everyday, to 240.0. Since then, it’s been crazy and today I weighed in at 236.4. What a relief!

It seems like at the start of each new “month” or from the 13th to 12th (surgery was on May 13th), I stall for two weeks and then lose for two weeks. It’s quite an emotional roller coaster because even though I know that I’m not done losing, I still start thinking, “WHAT IF IT THIS IS IT??” I don’t know why I can’t just keep rational thoughts in my head during those stalls?

What I am able to do though is to stay the course. I have a specific plan and I stick to it. When I stall, I don’t stray from that plan because if the plan has worked for me in the past, it will work for me again. I try not to get all crazy and start switching things up with my diet when I’m in a stall. I have to believe that the scale will start moving again – and it always does!

Maybe I’ll get lucky and the 230s will be a quick stop. For some reason, being in the 220’s just seems like A LOT less. I can’t even wrap my head around being in the 220s again. Wow…

Just an Uneventful Update!

Just thought I would check-in and give everyone an update since it has been a little while since I posted. Things really haven’t changed much around here. I am trying to keep my head on straight and keep my cool while I currently am going through a stall. Boy, do they really mess with your head. I know that I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing, sticking to the plan… but EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I get up and find the exact same number on the scale – 240.6. It’s like my body knows I want to finally see the 230s and is taunting me for some reason. Probably because I won’t feed it chocolate!

It’s hard to not just say, “Screw it!” and just stop being so strict with eating. I see other people that are losing weight and they aren’t as strict – so why do I care? These are the thoughts that run through my head when I’m feeling down and it’s really hard to keep myself in check. When this happens, I just try to concentrate on how much better life is than it was a year ago and not get too bogged down in my pity party!

On the bright side, I’ve been trying some more running, and I still feel really great. I just had my six month labs done (a little early) and they say that everything looks fine. I was surprised that something didn’t come up that would explain why I’m very tired and sometimes dizzy when I stand up? Who knows! It doesn’t seem to be getting any worse, so I’ll just assume it’s my body trying to adjust to the fact that in 11 months I’ve lost 203 lbs? Hmmmmm, maybe that could be it lol.

I hope to have positive news of a stall break for you soon! 🙂

If you want my body AND you think I’m sexy!!

No… this is not THAT kind of post! lol Just another general posting about how my life has changed so much for the better and a story about a great night! 🙂

On Monday evening, I went to see Rod Stewart perform at a concert in my hometown. I’m not a huge Rod Stewart fan or anything, but my friend happened to get a few free tickets and a bunch of my girlfriends were going, so we all decided to make a night out of it. We went out to dinner at the Texas Roadhouse and then off to the concert we went! Continue reading

A Simple Post about Happiness and Thankfulness

Today was a wonderful day. The fall weather was perfect in central Pennsylvania and I spent the afternoon golfing with my amazing husband and wonderful father. While I did golf when I was heavier (444 lbs!), I can’t tell you how much more enjoyable it is at 243 lbs! Not only is it easier, but I certainly don’t get tired as quickly.

After golf, we decided to go out to eat at the Outback Steakhouse. Going out to eat, at least for me, as been incredible easy since surgery. I find that there is always something that I can get without a problem. Usually I will get either grilled shrimp or grilled chicken along with a side of broccoli or green beans. I find that I’m no longer shy about asking for food to be prepared just how I want/need it to be prepared. For example, the chicken I ate tonight usually comes with BBQ sauce and “mixed veggies” and I asked them to prepare the chicken plain with no condiments and substitute the mixed veggies for green beans. I find the key to eating out is to look at the menu ahead of time and make sure you ask for exactly what you want.

Not only is it easy to order, but it’s SO. DAMN. EASY. to fit into a booth at any restaurant. Hallelujah! I can’t tell you how good it feel to slide my 243 lb ass into a booth without an issue. Go me!

I would go through this entire process over and over again in order to get to this happy, healthy place. Words don’t describe how good I felt today. Here are a few pics!

My best attempt at a selfie! I think I'm getting better?

My best attempt at a selfie! I think I’m getting better?

A pic of me and my wonderful, handsome, pain in the ass, adorable husband! :)

A pic of me and my wonderful, handsome, pain in the ass, adorable husband! 🙂

My amazing father!

My amazing father!

How I spent my afternoon!

How I spent my afternoon!

200 LBS LOST (w/ pic)!!!! Tears of Joy and Random Thoughts!

October 8, 2013 marks a very important day in my weight loss efforts. As of this morning I have lost 200 lbs since my heaviest weight of 444.2 lbs on November 20, 2013.

322 days… slightly over 10 1/2 months… and my life has changed more than I ever could have imagined it would. Life is easier. Life is happier. Life is better!

I’m so glad that I went hardcore during the supervised diet and then yes, even after losing 107 lbs in six months, decided to have surgery. I don’t know if I could have gotten this far without the help of weight loss surgery, support of the readers of my blog, support of my family, and the support of my online friends on (oh… and not to mention the mental health professional I pay a lot of money to sit and listen to me! lol).

A few of my favorite changes over the past 10 1/2 months? I love that I don’t feel sick all the time. I’m not in terrible pain. I don’t feel embarrassment when I go out into public – in fact, my confidence is still VERY high! I love that I can walk into a store and buy a shirt (XL) and that I can ALMOST walk into any store and buy pants (some stores I can, some I can’t just yet). I love that there are a lot more options for clothing (who knew??) when you’re not plus sized. I love that I look better (kiss my ass if you think that’s vain) and I LOVE that sexy time with my husband is more frequent and MUCH more fun! 🙂

What I have learned along the way? I’ve learned that you need to get real with yourself. You have to track your food consistently and honestly – no more lies, no more burying your head in the sand and not seeing doctors, weighing yourself, etc. Now more “getting on track tomorrow… or Monday… or at the beginning of the month.” I have learned that I cannot eat trigger foods. I have to stay completely away from them, for as long as I can! I’m human and I may slip up at some point, but for now… I’m going strong and have no desire to “eat ‘normally‘ like I used to, just less of it” – I don’t think so!

Personally, I think that a lot of people kid themselves when it comes to what the term “moderation” really means. There are some people out there that have a more balanced diet than I do when it comes to incorporating some complex carbs, fruits, veggies, etc…. and I would say that those people eat in “moderation” and do very well with their plan. I think when “moderation” starts to mean that you’re eating foods that are fried, high in fat with little protein, simple carbs, sweets, snacks, etc. on a regular basis but just “less of it” you’re on a slippery slope. That’s not what “moderation” means to me. I consider “moderation” to be the way  I ate during the supervised diet. Of course, this is just my newbie opinion! 🙂

Here is a comparison pic of the start of the supervised diet (444.2 lbs) and this morning (244.2 lbs). It’s a little blurry because my husband sucks at taking pictures (j/k), but I think you get the idea! (I think I look a little high… but I’m not a morning person, so give me a break!)

Thank you all SO much for your constant support and cheerleading!