Woohooo – today is my birthday! I’m a person that really likes birthdays…. as my Dad would always make a big deal about it when I was a kid. It was my “special day” – where we got to do what I wanted, when I wanted, eat whatever I wanted for dinner, and usually the gift was pretty nice too! Honestly, in our household, birthdays were always a much bigger deal and have many more happy memories than Christmas. It felt like the one day of the year that I got whatever I wanted and didn’t have to feel guilty about it!
I will admit, since moving away from home, birthdays haven’t felt nearly as special. Add in the fact that my husband’s family never really got too excited about birthdays (they are big into Christmas though) and he doesn’t really make it special in anyway… they have almost lost their appeal. Last year I had a root canal on my birthday for crying out loud! It’s wasn’t a good time, that’s for sure.
Last year, I declared that 28 was going to be “my year” and boy was it! I took a look back at my food tracking app and noticed that at my birthday last year, I was 307.4 lbs… already down about 137 lbs from the 7 months prior. I was on top of the world at that point and couldn’t imagine things getting so much better…. but here I am, living and loving life… weighing in at 194.6 this morning and celebrating getting another year older.
I decide to do something that I never do today and that was take a selfie and post it on Facebook. I’m not entirely open about my surgery with people in my real life, so drawing the extra attention to myself by posting selfies was never really my thing. But, I decided I was going to embrace the attention and compliments on my “special day” and just go for it! Plus, maybe if people on Facebook see pictures of me online, then they won’t be so shocked to see me in person and they’ll calm down a little about how I look haha!
Posting the picture though made me realize that I have a longgggg way to go in the mental aspect of this whole thing. I look at the picture below and although I think I look nice it… I’ve noticed myself focusing in heavily on my mid-section! I can’t stop looking at the bulge in my dress and feeling so frustrated that it’s there. I mean, I know I need to get a grip…. but it’s bothering me that I’m focusing so heavily on it. Maybe most people can’t even see it LOL – why do I do this to myself?
I am having plastics at the end of September, but my body will never be perfect… so I really need to figure out how to get a better attitude about the way I look. It’s something to work on at the next therapy appointment, that’s for sure! I know I’m being ridiculous… but it’s not like feeling are always rational, right?
So anyway… I’m 29 today and looking forward to the upcoming year. I hope it’s even better than the last. The name of this blog is Flirty by Thirty because I had a desire to get back to feeling good, looking good, and being healthy by the time I hit 30 years old. I have one year left, and I think I can make it happen 😉