Turning 31, Eurotrip, and the End of a Marriage

I say it every time I post, so here it goes again, “Wow, has it really been that long since I have posted?!”

Time goes by quickly when you’re either having fun or life becomes incredibly busy or stressful. I feel as though all of those things have been happening to me in an odd sort of combination.

To start with the good stuff, I turned 31 a couple of weeks ago. I started this blog years ago and at the time, turning 30 (where the name of the blog comes from) seemed like such a distant thing. Now, 30 has come and gone and I can say honestly overall it was a great year. I have a job that allows me to travel all over the country, meet new people, and pays me well. The frequent flyer miles and hotel points earned from these trips allowed me to take my very first trip out of the country! On my 31st birthday, I got on a plane to Dusseldorf, Germany to meet my cousin and travel partner for quite a vacation!

During our vacation, we spent a couple of days in Germany and then took a train to Amsterdam. It was a beautiful city and I was amazed by the canals. Such beautiful scenery. Perhaps my favorite part of the entire trip was touring the Anne Frank house. I read “The Diary of Anne Frank” as a kid and could never have imagined I would find myself, someday, halfway across the world touring the very space she lived for over two years in hiding.

Then, we headed to Brussels. What a beautiful city. It’s amazing to see the architecture of the old buildings. Going to another country, with a much longer history, truly is eye opening for this small-town American girl.

The sad news is that a couple of weeks before this incredible vacation, my husband and I decided to split up. We were married for five years, but together for 11 1/2 and we just couldn’t make it work anymore. It still shocks me to find myself in this situation, as I truly did think we were going to be together forever.

People will mostly likely ask, “Did the weight loss have anything to do with the split?” and to be honest, I don’t know how to answer this question. Our relationship, for a long time, has been one of deep friendship, but never really physical or romantic. For many, many years I just thought this was because I was SO heavy and never blamed him for not being attracted to me. I had assumed when I lost weight this would change. The weight came off, and nothing happened. I pushed the issue. He pushed back. I continued to push, searching for answers about his lack of interest. In the end, we determined we were better off as friends. He feels as though the romantic side of the relationship is lost and can’t be recovered. So, here I am… a newly single 31 year old professional woman trying to figure out what my future will  look like. It’s scary and exciting all at the same time.

Below I included some pics of the vacation. I’m probably going to take more plastic surgery progress pics soon. In the meantime, enjoy!

NikkeCandice_Dusseldorf

Me (left) and my cousin (right) in Dusseldorf, Germany.

 

BrusselsCollage

Collage of Brussels

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8 thoughts on “Turning 31, Eurotrip, and the End of a Marriage

  1. I would say that the Anne Frank Huis was definitely my favorite part of Amsterdam as well! It sounds like you had an amazing trip! Can’t wait to see more surgery progress pics as I’m 6 months out from my VSG surgery and realizing that at least some skin removal is in the future..

  2. The photos from your trip are amazing! I’m sorry about your marriage. I’ve always wondered how such an amazing transformation would impact an existing relationship. As sad as it is, a whole new life awaits you!

  3. You have been busy! I’m so happy for you too because you were my inspiration to get this surgery. I thought if she can do this so can I! Thank you for that.

    I’m sorry to hear about your marriage, but at least you both decided it’s better to part now rather than years down the road with time wasted.

    Love the photos! You look great! Thanks for keeping us updated and may your thirties be everything you wish and more. 🙂 -Laurie

  4. Thank you for sharing the photos of your amazing vacation. Looks so gorgeous and I can imagine it was a fun trip. You look wonderful as well and I’m sure you feel better. I’m so very sorry to hear about your marriage. I know things will get better for you. Take care and have a good Sunday.

  5. I just spent 3 hours reading your entire blog and its 1:30AM, I’m going to sleep so excited and motivated for my journey with the VSG procedure, and I want to thank you for sharing! You are incredible. I hope to be as dedicated as you. I’ve been obese my entire life, and last year 251lbs at 24 years old was my heaviest. I am currently at 235, 5’3 at 25 yrs old and qualify for VSG without a pre-op diet of any sort from my insurance, except the 2 week liquid diet. Thankfully I have 2 insurance policies I’m still under my parent’s as well so I won’t pay a dime out of pocket, I want to take full advantage of this opportunity. My bf of 6 years is 155 lbs athletic and handsome, everyone can’t believe that we are together and he will never understand my insecurities. He is COMPLETELY against me going through with this surgery, but will support me if I go through with it. I have thought about how this transition could affect our relationship; logic tells me it would improve because i would look so much better (even though he says i’m hot and that he loves the way I look) but so many cases like yours makes my nerves even harder to calm. I don’t understand, you’re beautiful, smart, sexy, dedicated, he loved you for you regardless of the outside, why did that change? I know you’re very private and you do not have to answer my question, I’m just kind of thinking out loud. So many emotions in one night.

    You are amazing! Thanks again!

    • Hey there. I’m glad you are excited your procedure. It’s a major life change and it is something you really have to work hard at, but can be totally worth it. I’m not sure what I can say about your relationship situation. The truth is that we had the intimacy issues long before I had surgery…. I just figured they were related to my weight. When things didn’t change, I started to push the issue and he just wasn’t honest with himself or me until several months ago. It just wasn’t meant to be. A strong relationship can get better with this major life improvement, but it can certainly damage a relationship as well. You just need to both be open and honest with each other at all times! Feel free to email me at flirtybythirty15@gmail.com if you have any questions!

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