In exactly one week, I will be in surgery with Dr. Joseph Capella… having a lower body lift, arm lift, and breast lift. The emotions running through me are crazy. The strongest emotion I’m feeling is excitement. I can’t wait to wake up in the morning and NOT spend at least 5-7 minutes pulling my skin around, imagining what I would look like without all of it there. Dr. Capella estimates that he’ll be removing approximately 10 lbs of skin, fat, and tissue. Honestly, I could care less about what the scale says in response to having this stuff removed… I just want to like the way I look and feel.
I’m also feeling a bit of stress. There is a lot to do at work before I’m out for 3-4 weeks and I’m also afraid something will happen and the surgery will be cancelled or delayed. I had similar feelings when I was waiting to be sleeved, so hopefully these fears are just irrational and everything goes smoothly. The stress has been taking a toll on my eating though, and I’m not happy that the scale said 204.6 lbs this morning. Now, 3 days ago it was 199.8 where it had been for a little while, so I know I didn’t gain almost 5 lbs of real weight in that time; however, I need to get a grip – most of that weight I’m sure is real and I was already at the top of the range I was maintaining in (195-200). It worries me that I have been having a hard time staying on track lately. I don’t like it and I know I need to get a hold of myself. I have a lot of concerns about being inactive after plastic surgery – and I’m concerned the medication, fatigue, and being in pain will affect my food choices negatively. The goal is to buckle down this next week and get myself back under 200 lbs before surgery. If a couple of these pounds are just water weight, then hopefully it shouldn’t be an impossible task. But, I have to prepare myself for the fact that it might not happen and just do my best.
To help with this, I made sure I went to bed a bit early last night. Nothing gets me off track more than stress and lack of sleep – and that’s the state I’ve been in the past couple of weeks. This morning, I took the time to pack all of my meals/snacks for the day. I wasn’t planning on going to the gym, but I got my clothes together and will go after work. Finally, I had planned to NOT take vacation this afternoon to stay at work; however, a lot of my stress comes from being behind on many things – work, freelance work, school work, and house work. I’ve got a lot of things caught up at my full-time job… so taking an afternoon off and being productive with it could be very helpful in eliminating the stress. Eliminating the stress will help with getting back on track, I know this about myself.
I can’t believe plastic surgery is almost here. I haven’t wanted something to happen so much since the VSG surgery and I’m just hoping everything goes well…