So, I’ve been maintaining my weight in a window of about 194-200 lbs since February. At first, this new phase of maintenance was not intentional… I simply found myself having some “diet fatigue” as some people call it and having a hard being hardcore about losing my last 20-25 lbs. Then, life got in the way… things got busy and I had to get realistic about what kind of effort (mentally and physically) I could put in to being dedicated to being in a weight loss phase. After all, I had been incredibly focused on it for a year and a half and after almost 250 lbs lost, I was exhausted!! I decided (with a thumbs-up from several physicians) that I was going to maintain my weight in a 195-200 window until after I have plastic surgery.
I’ve found that maintaining weight really sucks…. and it’s hard LOL. I’m not very good at it, probably because I have very little practice. I have always been either steadily gaining weight (and not caring/caring OR, I’ve been trying desperately to lose weight). This whole thing is hard because I’ve found that it’s an uncomfortable feeling. Mentally it’s hard to wrap my head around…. “What do you mean you aren’t trying to lose weight?!?! You’ve spent almost 30 years trying to lose weight… and NOW it’s not the ultimate goal?” Even if I were at what I considered to be my original goal weight, I think I would probably feel this way. The idea that I shouldn’t be trying to lose weight is this new mindset that is still making me very uncomfortable. Uncomfortable is the only way I can really describe it!
I’m really looking forward to a time when I feel like I can stop (for the most part) worrying about my goal being a number on a scale. I have a plan, and I hope that it’s a good one (for me) but who knows if it will be! I plan to maintain weight (ok, so if I lost below 195, that’s just a bonus) and then undergo my first round of plastics (maybe one) on September 25th (wooohooo! can’t wait!). Then, I’m going to heal, and enjoy my new body…. one that I hopefully will love. Once I’m healed, the goal is to get back into the gym and around the end of the year (3 months post plastics) when hopefully the majority of regular swelling goes down, and get another body fat % test done. I would really like to see how that compares with the body fat % test I did at the beginning of this year. THEN, based on body fat %…. I will create a new scale goal for myself and keep plugging along until I get there…. even if it takes me the next 50 years LOL!
These are just some random thoughts on where my head is at right now! Ideally, I would have powered through and lost the last 20 lbs (which I surely could’ve done by now… even at a 1 lb per week rate)… but I’m human and I do the best I can! Here is a comparison pic… just for fun! Yesterday’s pic on the right was me at 199 lbs!