I wish people would “think” before they “compliment!”

The holiday season has brought a lot of family gatherings and of course, a lot of talk about my weight loss. People in general have been very kind and complimentary when they see me – they tell me they are proud of me, that they are excited for me, that they are happy for me. It’s greatly appreciated, although overwhelming at times.

Some people, on the other hand, should probably think about how their “compliment” comes across before they say it lol. What do I mean by this? Here are a few examples:

Someone says to my husband, “Hey there…. did you get a divorce and marry a gorgeous, beautiful, new gal?”

“You are looking beautiful! Congrats! Oh… your husband knew all along that you were beautiful!”

“You are so pretty now!”

Ok… now I let these comments slide because I know the people they are coming from and I know that these people truly do mean these things as a compliment. But, come on?! Do people not realize, POSSIBLY, how these comments might make me feel a little bad? Geez! It does make me wonder what in the world they said about me when I wasn’t around – although I try not to think about it too much.

It just seems to me that people think in their minds that now that I’ve lost weight and approaching a “normal” size, that any comment about my appearance is ok to make.

What are the worst “compliments” you have received?

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14 thoughts on “I wish people would “think” before they “compliment!”

  1. My aunt told me one Christmas Eve “Don’t eat that brownie, you are so beautiful when you are thin!” Ugh! That comment really stuck with me,

  2. wow. no words. people are so clueless!! it’s so weird. when i lose weight suddenly everyone thinks that personal boundaries are gone. they will say “how much have you lost?” and “how much do you weigh?” it’s like no one would ask a women that question under normal circumstances but if you lose weight they feel like you have waived your right to any normal privacy. you DO look amazing! even in pictures you have this sparkle in your eye.

    • Thank you so much for the kind words!

      You are SO right about the loss of privacy. Three separate people on three separate occasions at my husband’s family functions someone has YELLED across the room “HOW MUCH WEIGHT HAVE YOU LOST!?”

      I would be more than happy to tell people if they asked me directly and didn’t freakin’ scream it across the freakin’ room!!

  3. I remember getting incredibly angry when my boss, who is very petite and thin, says in general “I weighed 107 this morning; I’m fat!” I remember thinking, “Are you kidding me? I just weighed in at over 400 lbs and you’re worried about 3 lbs??” I guess it’s a good reminder that our issues don’t go away with the part of the stomach they cut out…

  4. I’ve still got quite a way to go, but I am getting lots of “You look so good, NOW” comments. Like you said, they probably don’t mean to insult me. It’s just very weird to think what they thought of me before!

  5. I’m still pre-op but like most I’ve lost weight before. Once upon a time I got within a few pounds of being “overweight” and the comments started to drive me bonkers. I’m in a much better mental frame of mind now but I’m still worried about the comments. At my next (and last pre-op) appointment with the program psychologist we’ll be talking about the attention and comments. The insensitive comments from those who “care” and should know better are the ones which hurt the most.

    • Good luck to you!! It can be frustrating… but I’m learning to deal with it. The compliments have certainly started to die down… which is definitely a relief. The attention can get crazy! I’m sure someday I’ll miss it though haa!

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