I have to say that I have a really great job. I work for a major University as a software trainer and sometimes it requires me to travel to the many campuses that our University has across the state. I generally enjoy traveling to other campuses and getting the opportunity to meet interesting and friendly people. Sometimes the travel is constant and then sometimes it doesn’t happen for long periods of time. At this point, I would say it’s probably been over a year since I’ve traveled, but today I’m leaving town to spend the night in the Philly area to teach classes at a campus tomorrow morning.
Traveling for work brings back some sad memories for me. Well, they weren’t sad memories until I started thinking back a lot on them lately. The majority of the travel that I’ve done for work was prior to me starting the supervised diet (one year ago tomorrow – yay!) and having surgery six months ago. So, as you can imagine, my eating habits were VERY different when I was on the road in the past.
My eating habits on these trips make for sad memories. I always traveled on my own, which means these trips were the opportunity to eat whatever I wanted, in whatever quantity I wanted, on the University’s dime, and without having to hide my behaviors from anyone else. When I was at home, I would eat when my husband was upstairs, I would eat in the car on the way home, or eat in my office at work. You know what I’m talking about… all of those eating behaviors that morbidly obese individuals take part in because they feel the shame and embarrassment from them. Well, when I was traveling on the road… I didn’t have to hide. So, when I think back on my traveling experiences… I can see myself sitting alone in a hotel room, gorging on food with no shame, and then falling asleep feeling terrible. These memories are sad ones and it is hard to believe that things can be so different now.
So, for this trip… I’ve got a plan in place! I have packed food to take with me for tonight and snacks for tomorrow. I already know where I’m going to get lunch and dinner tomorrow as well. I have ensured that my hotel has a fitness center and I have packed the appropriate workout clothing and sneakers! Tonight… I will not sit in a hotel room alone and gorge on food. I’m going to let the past go and make some new, better traveling memories. I will arrive, get settled, workout, shower, eat a dinner I’ve brought with me, watch a little TV, and then go to sleep. Hopefully these become my new traveling habits – because I have a feeling travel will be extensive in the Spring and I must plan ahead!
As for the gym update – I signed up one week ago and have gone four times since then! Exciting stuff. I go there and do what I can so that I can feel healthy and happy. So far, so good! I’ve set realistic expectations and let go of the idea that if I don’t spend an hour a day in the gym that I shouldn’t bother with it. Nobody knows how long I stay in the gym or how much or little I do but me… so if I’m happy with what I’m accomplishing – shouldn’t that be enough? All I want to do is gain a little strength back and tone some of my pathetic muscles, and be healthy enough that I can run far away from the carb monster if he decides to start chasing me!! 🙂