On Tuesday, I was officially three months out from surgery. I’m a couple of days away from being 9 months out from when I started the six month supervised diet and decided to change my life for the better! Woohoo! Every month, I take progress pictures and am always amazed at how far I’ve come and I try not to dwell too much on the “how far I have to go” thoughts (even though that is really difficult).
This morning, I weighed in at 275.6 lbs which is exciting. I’m really, really eager to get to 274 and there is a reason for that, but I’ll get into that more when I actually get there lol.
Something I’ve noticed a lot lately is my willingness and desire to get out in the world and do more things. I’ve been much more social in the past couple of weeks than I have in probably 7 or 8 years. It’s crazy! Last Thursday, I went to a bar and played team trivia with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law. On Friday, I went with my husband’s family to a dinner at a restaurant outside of town (where I ate a little bit of food and boxed the rest up when nobody was looking lol). Saturday, I went shopping (which I HATE!) with my Mom and younger sister (she is almost 15 and needed school clothes).
On Sunday, I went to my husband’s grandparents house where his 87 year old grandfather told me he didn’t recognize me again and that I look good. But, then proceeded to yell in front of everyone “I bet you’re keeping track of how much weigh you’ve lost! HOW MUCH WEIGHT HAVE YOU LOST!” Now, I don’t mind this question in general… I tell people how much weight I’ve lost… but EVERYBODY that was there was staring at me… so I said “Oh, it’s a lot!” He didn’t get the hint…. and after a few second pause said, “I BET IT’S OVER 100 LBS!” lol… and I said “Oh, it’s a lot more than that…” and since we were leaving, we just left lol. We left their house to go to my husband’s aunt’s house and of course, the second thing she said to me was “How much weight have you lost” in front of a bunch of other people. It’s crazy! I just wish people could say, “You look great” and leave it at that, at least when I’m in a large group of people. I know that people are just happy, proud, curious, etc. but it’s overwhelming!
I find myself being more social because I have less fear. I find myself less worried about “If I go to this bar to play trivia are people going to moo at me? (This has happened) Can I fit on the bar stool or in the booth where we sit? Will I be able to sit in the lawn chairs that are on my husband’s grandparent’s front porch? (Yes, believe it or not I’ve not gone to visit them at their home in a long time during the summer for this very reason) Last night, I went to a minor league baseball game with a friend of mine – something I never would have done before because I would be afraid I would break the seats, be uncomfortable, or just not fit. Yes, I’ve gone to a sports stadium in the past and broken a seat because I had to get up and down so many times for people to get through – how embarrassing!
My friend thought I was silly last night for being concerned about fitting into the seats. She just doesn’t get it – and thank god for that…. I would never wish someone else to feel that kind of anxiety. That’s why I’m so glad I’ve gone to great lengths to get healthy. I hope I can keep it up. I’ve lost almost 170 lbs and have 100-110 lbs to go depending on where I want my final goal to be…
I look at the before pictures below and I wonder, “Who IS this person????” – it’s crazy how far I’ve come. I never want to forget what it feels like to be that size, so that I hopefully never go back… but it’s easy to want to try to push it aside and pretend like it never happened. Well, without further ado, here are my latest progress pics!