I came across an article today on Yahoo! News called I’m Overweight and My Boyfriend’s Not. Big Freakin’ Deal and it reminded me of all the things I feel regarding my husband and I. I started this journey at 444 lbs and even though I’m down to 311 now, I’m still much, much larger than my husband. He’s an attractive (in my opinion), fit Phys Ed teacher and I know that we look like we don’t belong together. Years ago, I introduced my husband (fiance at the time) to my co-workers at an event and on Monday, one of my co-workers said“Oh my goodness, your fiance is REALLY cute, I wasn’t expecting that!!” Although it was really rude (and she had no idea lol), I know that the harsh reality is that this is what a lot of people are thinking.
I really wish that I didn’t care about what people thought in this particular area. I’m always self-conscious when meeting his friends, co-workers, etc. and I’ve felt before like I’ve embarrassed him, although he tells me just how ridiculous I am (he’s a sweetheart). I do know that I can’t wait for a day when this isn’t a thought in my mind anymore; however, it’s quite possible that I might feel this way at a normal weight because I’m still seeing myself at 444 lbs. *sigh*
I think that the “social experiment” that I talked about starting in January is a perfect example. To recap, my husband and I are often asked if we want separate checks when we dine out together, regardless of the fact that we are in deep conversation and both wearing wedding rings. A lot of times, they put the check on my side of the table too… I’ve never mentioned that before – WTF? lol
To give an update on the social experiment, we went to dinner last night at Applebee’s and we were NOT asked if we wantd separate checks. This is the second time we’ve gone out to dinner since my initial post and TWO times in a row that we weren’t asked if we wanted separate checks – probably a record. Very interesting….
I guess all of this gives me something to talk to the ol’ shrink about this afternoon lol!