A Call to Blog Followers!

Tomorrow, I will be making a post regarding plastic surgery and posting pictures (graphic ones) of my excess skin. I’m going to password protect the post. Unfortunately, there is not a way to email all of the followers of this blog (that I know of) to give them the password. If you are not a member of the Facebook group or online forum that  I am a part of (where I will share password) and you’d like it, please shoot me an email at flirtybythirty15@gmail.com.

Getting excited!!! :)

One Week to Go Before Plastic Surgery!

In exactly one week, I will be in surgery with Dr. Joseph Capella… having a lower body lift, arm lift, and breast lift. The emotions running through me are crazy. The strongest emotion I’m feeling is excitement. I can’t wait to wake up in the morning and NOT spend at least 5-7 minutes pulling my skin around, imagining what I would look like without all of it there. Dr. Capella estimates that he’ll be removing approximately 10 lbs of skin, fat, and tissue. Honestly, I could care less about what the scale says in response to having this stuff removed… I just want to like the way I look and feel.

I’m also feeling a bit of stress. There is a lot to do at work before I’m out for 3-4 weeks and I’m also afraid something will happen and the surgery will be cancelled or delayed. I had similar feelings when I was waiting to be sleeved, so hopefully these fears are just irrational and everything goes smoothly. The stress has been taking a toll on my eating though, and I’m not happy that the scale said 204.6 lbs this morning. Now, 3 days ago it was 199.8 where it had been for a little while, so I know I didn’t gain almost 5 lbs of real weight in that time; however, I need to get a grip – most of that weight I’m sure is real and I was already at the top of the range I was maintaining in (195-200). It worries me that I have been having a hard time staying on track lately. I don’t like it and I know I need to get a hold of myself. I have a lot of concerns about being inactive after plastic surgery – and I’m concerned the medication, fatigue, and being in pain will affect my food choices negatively. The goal is to buckle down this next week and get myself back under 200 lbs before surgery. If a couple of these pounds are just water weight, then hopefully it shouldn’t be an impossible task. But, I have to prepare myself for the fact that it might not happen and just do my best.

To help with this, I made sure I went to bed a bit early last night. Nothing gets me off track more than stress and lack of sleep – and that’s the state I’ve been in the past couple of weeks. This morning, I took the time to pack all of my meals/snacks for the day. I wasn’t planning on going to the gym, but I got my clothes together and will go after work. Finally, I had planned to NOT take vacation this afternoon to stay at work; however, a lot of my stress comes from being behind on many things – work, freelance work, school work, and house work. I’ve got a lot of things caught up at my full-time job… so taking an afternoon off and being productive with it could be very helpful in eliminating the stress. Eliminating the stress will help with getting back on track, I know this about myself.

I can’t believe plastic surgery is almost here. I haven’t wanted something to happen so much since the VSG surgery and I’m just hoping everything goes well…

 

Color Run Comparison 2013 vs. 2014 (w/ pics)

Last year, after losing around 200 lbs from my heaviest weight, I participated in The Color Run 5k. I felt great, looked great, and walked the whole thing. This was something I was incredibly proud of at the time, but I knew that my goal for 2014 would be to start running, and to run the entire thing the next year.

It’s crazy to me how quickly time passes. When you’re in the moment, it feels as though this journey can take forever (not that it’s really ever OVER, but hopefully you know what I mean)… but I really can’t believe that it was a year ago that I wrote the post I linked to above and walked my first 5k. Today, I participated in the same event…. almost 250 lbs down and 11 days away from plastic surgery, which I am so excited about I can’t stand it! I’m proud to say that I ran the entire thing with a time of exactly 32 minutes!

The ups and downs of the past (almost) two years have been completely worth the way I feel on days like today. I’m so glad that I have pictures and my blog to look back on as a reminder of how far I’ve come. When I started blogging…it truly was for me to have something to look back on – I didn’t really ever expect or know if anyone else would ever read it. Now, it’s nice to have as I’ve noticed that it has been easier and easier to forget the mental, emotional, and physical pain of being severely morbidly obese. Although I do want to move on from the guilt and shame of getting myself to such a place and forget about it to some extent, I never want to forget it completely so that I remind myself why I never want to go back “there” – ever again!

And now… just a little comparison pic – where I started, where I was last year at this time, and where I am today!

ColorRunComparison